Sisterly love

More fun Stories about my priceless little sister Emily, with special appearance by my older sister, Kelly.


to begin... a picture. all three girls. making our "dad" face. For those of you who have never met my dad, this is what he looks like.

You would think that since i am older than emily by a full 17 months, that i would have had the upperhand growing up. and maybe even a little now... i am still older. and taller. This has never been true. i have always been the one that gets picked on. always the victim of the practical jokes. especially when emily and kelly join forces. I guess i am the middle child, and should have expected it.

the good news for me is, they're usually not very good at pulling off aforementioned practical jokes. For example, when i come back from the bathroom to kel and emily sitting at the table staring at me with huge grins on their faces as i sit down, and start urging me to drink my coke, i am smart enough to not do it. "c'mon Casey, aren't you thirsty? drink your coke casey, just drink it! its gonna get warm. its gonna go flat. you better drink it!" "what did you guys do to my drink" "nothing. just drink it." "... no. what did you do." "um.... maybe we put a baby carrot in it. " then they start cracking up, and i go dump out the rest of my soda.

or years later at my great-grandmother's FUNERAL i disappeared for a few minutes for whatever reason, and when i came back to my sisters standing outside the funeral home, they hand me my chocolate milk and say 'taste it its really good.' this time they had mixed in some cream soda into my chocolate milk. to this day they swear it was good. i was still mad.

the meanest thing they ever did was when we would all be going around spitting off jokes round-table style and after a few jokes, when i would say something, they would both stop laughing and just look at me. that's a terrible thing to do to someone's self esteem. they eventually told me that the DID do it on purpose, but it wasn't actually planned. it just so happened that they both decided to stop laughing at me on the same joke ALL the time. thanks girls.

but the all time best joke emily has ever played on me was my senior year of high school. Emily and I had just had our wisdom teeth out. The whole process really grossed me out. we all know how i feel about the dentist. and losing teeth. add on top of that the fact that there were dissolving stitches?!?! I'm sorry, i promised to go a full week without a story about me being a big baby, but i can't. that shit is gross. For those of you who have never had dissolving stitches, the adjective 'dissolving' isn't quite correct. the just kinda fall out into your mouth. 2 inches of gross stitches all of a sudden on your tongue. anyone who is NOT a baby about that probably has something wrong with them. SO, i'm eating one of my first meals of solid food, a plate of spaghetti, and talking on the phone (i think to chris hall, actually) i stand up, leave the room, come sit back down on the couch and finished my spaghetti. (we rarely had family dinners at a table... for reasons which are probably mostly emily's fault. an up coming blog entry i'm sure) Emily enters the room again and stares at me and laughs as if she's pulled off yet another practical joke.
C: what did you do
E: wasn't it funny?!?!
C: wasn't what funny?
E: the spaghetti
C: what about it? what did you do?
E: the stitches.
C: What are you talking about?
E: one of my stitches fell out. i put it on your spaghetti
C: (gagging) WHAT? no i didn't see it!
E: I put it right on top!
C: I was talking on the phone! i probably didn't even see it! i probably stirred my spaghetti when i sat down and never even looked it!
E: (look of absolute horror sweeps across her face) Do you think you... ate... my stitches?
C: PROBABLY! (panic, terror, puke, tears)
E: I put it right on top! how did you not see it? (laughing nervously)
C: How do you put stitches in someone's food and then leave the room?

I was pretty mad. and grossed out. and rightfully so. But even at the time, i kind of though it was funny, and she was pretty hilarious for doing it. So i told all my friends the next day at school. it was a pretty good story. what am i talking about 'was' a good story... clearly it 'is' a good story. or i wouldn't be writing about it in my precious blog. only the best for you, dearest blog.

about 6 years later, emily looked at me and said "remember the time you ate my stitches" which she liked to do from time to time to laugh at me and watch me gag. i answered begrudgingly 'yes.' then she looks at me in all seriousness and says "that never happened. i never put my stitches in your spaghetti." um. what? "i just thought it would be funny to watch your reaction if i told you i did. i would never let you actually eat my stitches." but... you let me believe i ate your stitches for 6 years. "yeah, i was pretty funny." emily, i told everyone i know that story . " I KNOW. i had to go around and tell EVERYONE you told that you didn't!"

so. emily is funnier than me. i've accepted that a long time ago. but she's also a better actress than me. i believed her for SIX YEARS. and she's way more dedicated than me. i though i'd do anything for a joke.. but geese louise. retracing my steps and correcting the story to everyone i told! oh yeah, and letting the joke play on for SIX YEARS if i hadn't mentioned that. damn, she's good. it actually wouldn't surprise me if in 6 years from now she told me it was true, that i, in fact, did eat her stitches my senior year of high school. at which point i will punch her in face.

hats off to you, heendog.