What if i kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall?

Do you ever have one of those really sappy days where every song on the radio seems to be singing straight to your heart? that's me everyday. i've always been a big fan of good music and good lyrics as a way to cope with real life. Lately however, my office has been listening to a lite rock station-- that's right, not even LIGHT rock, but lite. and you all know what i'm talking about. its been bad. real bad. plus its probably 'that time of the month' but who's counting.

i've been a roller coaster of emotions as all of these songs seem to have some kind of personal connection to my life.

"don't want to be all by myself..." no. as a matter of fact celine, i don't.

"HOW DO I GET YOU ALONE?" Heart, I don't know either. but if i find out, i'll tell you and vice versa.

"Well you're a real tough cookie with a long history. of breaking little hearts like the one in me." so fuck you. *note to self. try to learn this song for karaoke. (this note is actually written on a prescription pad on my desk)

"Cus when you're fifteen and someone tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them." Taylor. how do i tell you that the next 10 years aren't gonna get any easier.

"He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich." Ok. this one i don't really understand let alone relate to, but i sure do like it. and every time i hear it i hope the next song played is "she don't eat meat but she sure likes the bone." it very rarely is.

Its gotten so bad that there have been times that i've thought "that would be the PERFECT song to sing to 'him' and win him over!!! I'll just learn it on the piano, its right in my range blah blah blah..." Ok. Now, i'm not really sure what my problem is when it comes to making boys date me, but i'm pretty sure its not a lack of making them listen to me play Alicia Keys or Mariah Carey on my keyboard as they sit on my bed and listen. And i'm pretty sure my biggest problem when it comes to my current romantic relationships (or lack there of) is getting boys to my bed in the first place. *Note to self, if a boy is interested in you, don't fuck it up with REO Speedwagon. will somebody text me that tomorrow? I'm away from my desk.

this is all sappy, emotional bull shit that is hopefully at least somewhat amusing, possibly even a little relatable. I hope you're laughing at me a little. the next part may not be funny. I know its not to me. All this stupid sappy romance shit has me in a funk. again. still?... off and on for the past 25 years. This next part is probably a little too sappy for even me to share on my blog. but i've had a couple beers and i've been thinking about it all day (see! more lyric association Sara Bareillis "One too many drinks tonight and i miss you like you were mine). Plus its my blog, i can write whatever i want. if you don't like it you can stop following.

don't stop following i love every single one of you. If you wanna come over some time i have some peter cetara songs i want to play for you on my keyboard.

(maybe... maybe... i'll post song lyrics of actual good songs that i like, too. I think i have good taste in music, as i'm sure most people do, but for real, i think i do. not that men at work isn't a noteworthy, reputable musical group.)

Serious. Do you know what song repeatedly breaks my heart? and gives me hope all at the same time? its been my number one favorite song for about 10 years now. ok enough with the clues, i'm sick of this game. i'm just gonna tell you. 'Anna Begins' by the Counting Crows. Fucking love that song. I think it is the most honest view on falling in love ever. cus its not all pots of gold at the end of the rainbow and unicorns and female orgasms and other mythological ideals. it sucks sometimes. and its scary as hell. This is possibly the only piece of evidence that makes me believe that men fall in love. Like, really FALL IN LOVE the way a young girl always dreams of. This and probably my sister's husband Adam. he seems pretty wonderful. (ok and a few conversations lately with Drew and Chris... but very recently. for 9 of the past 10 years this was all i had). Let's take a look at some of the lyrics. in no particular order. but mostly the order they appear in the song.

"If it's love," she said, "then we're gonna have to think about the consequences." But she can't stop shaking and I can't stop touching her
everyone has had that dreaded/desired moment.
every hates/loves it.


It does not bother me to say this isn't love.
Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love.
And I guess I'm gonna have to live with that.
But I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey,
Or something in between
I think that is true.



It seems like I should say, "As long as this is love..."
But it's not all that easy
No, Adam Duritz. No it is not. there's a fuckload to think about.


This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes me away. And Anna begins to change my mind.
it'll happen to the best of us.

She's talking in her sleep.
It's keeping me awake. And Anna begins to toss and turn.
And every word is nonsense but I understand
ugh. yeah. so romantic in an honest way. (i don't even know what that means but i'm standing by it).

Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing.
I KNOW, RIGHT!?!?! Fuck That Shit I Don't Need I t/Its All I Ever Really Want In Life. What i like about his use of this lyric (its repeated for those of you who don't know the song) is sometimes it sounds like he's talking about being scared about being in love with her, but at the end it sounds like he's scared of losing her. ugh. beautiful.

If you don't know this song, download it. now. i'll give you the $.99.

My second favorite song is "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure. You can download that one on your own dime.

Alright. I'm done being sappy. My next entry will be much more cheerful i promise (i have some good stories about some rando's on the train). Right now i need to retire to my bedroom. I've got some Whitney Houston and Ryan Adams jams that could use a little work.