Reasons I must work for the MTA

there is one reason and one reason only that I need to work for the MTA. I just don't understand what being an employee of something like the MTA would be like. no comprehension.

Questions I have.

Are there certain train lines that are better to work for than others? (yes) Do you need to work your way up to them? do you start out on a shitty train like the G or the 7, or even worse, the S and work your way up to the ACE or 456?

Do you need to work your way up to being the one that announces what stop you're at? is that considered a big promotion? how long does it take to work your way up to something like that. Since i have a degree in theatre and 10+ years of experience in public speaking, do you think they'd start me off there? even if it is just on a shitty train

Would it be better to be a train announcer on a shitty train, or a regular train operator on a good train?

Where do you go TO work? do you sign in somewhere? are the shift times starting in 7-9 minute increments? do just show up to west 4th at 3:57 everyday? if the train is late picking you up for your shift, do you not get paid for the time you spend waiting on the platform? what if you're late to work (inevitably the train you ride to work is sometimes late) does the person you're relieving have to stay on the train for another round until they're back at west 4th? god forbid its an uptown train and you were stuck riding up the the bronx and back down to west 4th because some asshole was 3 minutes late getting to work that day. speaking of relief, how do you take a bathroom break?

How is it that they all seem like they're friends? you're pretty much in that booth thing alone. do they have headsets so they can chat? (like i inappropriately do with my crew when i'm stage managing a show. "cue light cue 34. light cue 34 go. so.... you. spot light operator. any good sex dreams lately???")

How do your supervisors know if you're doing a good job? are there "secret riders" checking in on you?

Is there a script, or at least some sort of list with the order of the stops? and transfers. hey-sues. can you imagine learning all of the transfers? there are some really tricky ones where you have to go above ground and walk a block and reswipe your card for a free transfer. how much leeway do you get with that script? i've heard some pretty creative train announcements. i wonder if that sort of thing is encouraged or frowned upon.

Who makes more money, train conductors or bus drivers?

most of all. i just want to understand the tunnels. its so crazy down there! I don't understand how you can be on the f train, look to your left across the platform and see the b train, then at the next stop, the platform and the b train are on your right. HOW DID THEY SWITCH SIDES???? Weekend services with all of the switches... why and how is the E train showing up at essex delancey? why isn't it just an F train. that just seems stupid. But until i see some sort of map of the tunnels, i really can't judge. I want to see a picture of NYC but a cross section like you see of huge ships with all of the subway tunnels and their depth into the city and the way that they intersect and the mole people.

There are just too many questions. too much i may never understand. most of the time when i have this many questions about something and really no way to find out the answers, i just assume it doesn't exist. like the stock market or the universe or unconditional love. But there's a chance i could one day learn at least some of this. and the only way to do that is to get a job there. so that is what i must do. i wonder if they have health insurance.