"I do it for the joy it brings, because I'm a joyful girl"

it has been over a month since i've lasted posted. a MONTH, i say. that is totally insane. I'm not really enjoying that part of my grown up job, but that's pretty much all i've posted about since i've started my grown up job- how i don't have time to blog. so i won't write about that again. except for the fact that i just did.

what you have missed in the past one month of my life:

i am a famous actress. i'm rehearsing not one but TWO plays. i'm very excited about both. one of the plays was featured on this website. that's right... off OFF broadway world dot com. What is that you say? you already have that website bookmarked because you love off off broadway theatre so much??? you...

the other play just started rehearsals this week, so no website write ups on off off broadway world... YET. but i think that its going to rock your socks off. stay tuned. its a full length play of the short play i did in the Cringe Fest this summer. sweeeet, riiiight?

I must admit... its a weird place in my acting career to be in right now. I'm keeping busy-- which is awesome. i feel like i'm making some big strides in this industry. however, i am still not making enough $$$ to support myself as an actor, so I am still working full time. damn is it exhausting. but like i said, staying busy in this business is something to be very grateful for. and i am. who needs money anyway.

Thanks to my super cool brother (@adny), I now have my own Casey Nicole Wright TRADING CARDS!!!!! if you want one, just send me a self address envelope. and a stamp. and a dollar. i'll even autograph it if i decide i like you. i'm kidding about the dollar. but it would be nice if you sent me money anyway.

i want to be a rockstar. who wants to go to Korean karaoke sometime soon? i've got the itch...

I was recently named the Fire Warden of the 39th floor of the Empire State Building. PRETTY BIG DEAL! I asked if i get a badge. I don't.



Blogees, you've missed out on a TON of subway fun this past month because i DON'T KNOW HOW TO TURN THE CAMERA NOISE OFF MY NEW PHONE, and therefore cannot slyly sneak in a picture of an unsuspecting stranger. i would have loved to have shown you the 37 year old exact replica of harry potter, and the guy who was carrying bags full of cans that were stacked together and tied up that in a matter that was taller and at least twice as wide as the man himself and the man who was wearing cowboy boots, tan corduroy pants, a tan suede fringe jacket, and a daniel boone fur hat- but with a blue feather, which was quite a lovely touch at 8:00am on a random friday. but i can't. because no one has fixed my sound settings. i hold all of you responsible for my lack of pictures to post in this entry. except for the one i posted above this paragraph.

question. are Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett the same person? which reminds me of something else i would like to know; How has the story of Johnny Appleseed survived this long? it has no bearing on anything even remotely relevant. yet has been passed down from generation to generation for far too long. how is it being taught in public schools? I don't know the Capital of South Dakota, I can only name 3 countries in Africa, I've never read A Tale of Two Cities, and yet i know the story of Johnny Appleseed. Thank you County Meadows Elementary School.

Back to me being famous because it's my favorite thing to talk about. and write about. I was googling myself the other day (duh) and found out that a video i made while i was living with Bridget and Tim about our apt has been picked up by TWO different websites. http://www.video.stiljete.com/apt-218--CASEY-NICOLE-WRIGHT__PqC-foqG0qQ.html
AND http://www.tradebit.com/filedetail.php/8463182-bridget-martin I don't know why a fitness/weight loss site picked up our video. but i'm glad they did. I also have been friends with Bridget for 6 YEARS and never knew she had an album available on CD baby. or that she had an irish accent. There's also a link to this very blog on an Architectural Interior Construction site on a list of "nicole wright" links. HOW WEIRD. http://jaimefuchslocher.fastpage.name/nicolewright/

like i should be judging other people's blog. I blog about the irrelevance of Johnny Appleseed.

I've always depended on the kindness of strangers

Yesterday, while walking to the subway from my chiropractor's appointment, a stranger turned to me and said "don't marry for love."

I was waiting for a for the light to change at 48th and 5th. This was a well dressed 'business man' in midtown (aka corporate central for those of you unfamiliar with the likings of the big city).

I turned to him with a smile and said "good to know. i'll have to keep that in mind."

He replied "They're both going to break your heart. the poor guy will break your heart. so will the rich one-- but at least you'll walk away with some money."

the man has a point. luckily, i've never really planned on marrying for love anyway. I've always intended my first marriage to be devoted completely to my weekend at daddy's plan. hence the entire blog. Random man on 48th and 5th at 7:00 on a Tuesday evening, I am one step ahead of you.

baby's got blue skies up ahead

nothing, i repeat nothing can make your commute home more enjoyable than this:

Wuv, Twu Wuv

August 25, 2010

Dear Blog,

One day we will be together again and we will frolic in the meadow and go parasailing and go star gazing and climb a mountain and see the Eiffel Tour and find bear paw prints in the mud and feed each other chocolate covered strawberries and laugh at ugly people together and sip on champagne and get married and have babies and live happily ever after, just like this lovely couple.

However, until you start pulling your weight financially in this relationship, i'm stuck at my day job all day long with no time to spend with you. Do your part, blog.

With love to the moon and back
forever and for always your girl
xoxo
Casey Nicole


**special thanks to Alex for finding the pic

If i can make it here, i can make it anywhere

the other day on my early morning commute to work, the woman standing next to me suddenly, and without warning

THREW UP ON MY FOOT.

Blogger, that's your largest font? you've got to be kidding me!

She then looked up at me and casually, quietly, politely said "i'm sorry." as if maybe she had stepped on my foot trying to get to a seat. I said "it’s ok" even though it’s not and took a step away from the pile of vomit. Although i should have just taken one for the team and stood by it the rest of the ride considering it was already covering one foot and had splashed onto the other.

I really had no f'ing clue what to do. i could have very easily thrown up right back at her, or cried. but instead, i instinctively laughed. not really at her, just quietly to myself. because there was vomit on my shoe and i was still 2 stops and short walk and an 39 floor elevator ride from my office. She's really lucky i'm so non-violent and have a strong stomach and passive aggressive and relatively nice.

When i got to my office, i went to the bathroom where i promptly threw away my shoes and washed my feet in the sink. i was wearing a skirt that was too short to put my feet in the sink-- something you never really consider when buying a skirt.

I guess overall it was worth it. 15 mins of vomit on my foot for a story that will last a lifetime. i'll take it. The most disappointing thing for me is that i had always imagined if someone was going to throw up on my shoes, it would be Kid Rock.

My brother in law is cooler than your brother in law.

I am lucky enough to have a sister lucky enough to have married this phenomenally talented musician, Mr. Adam Pedersen. Here's a video from his last show. its so freaking goooood!

Fame and Fortune and Glory

my show is famous! Check us out in NY Mag Y'all!!!!

so this post doesn't have a title. big whoop. wanna fight about it?

I've had a very busy month of july. new job, family emergency, pet emergency, rehearsing 3 shows. i've been a busy girl. yet... really nothing to write about. how does that happen? my mind is too busy memorizing my lines, learning my duties at work, grieving over my cat and stressing about my father to entertain me?!?!? GET IT TOGETHER, BRAIN! i need you to be funny to me all the time or my life sucks.

heehee. duties at work. get it? like pooping in your place of employment? OR like poopoo that HAS a job and is currently doing it! yeah, that's a better mental image. lets go with that.

the good news is i really like everything i'm doing. ok i didn't "like" my dad being in the hospital, that's just cruel. But i did like spending time with my family.

OH here's a funny story! So i was standing on a packed train Monday morning on my way to work, sitting directly in front of me was a gentlemen in his 30's. Enter: Beautiful woman in her late 20's with long brown hair to my right. aka, not directly in front of this gentleman. He tries to get my attention, which he does because i am standing directly in front of him, i take out my earphone and he asks me to nudge the beautiful lady to get her attention, because she is not standing directly in front of him and is looking the other way. She then turns to him and he says to her "would you like to sit down?" and offers her his seat. She declines. they go back to their business. i pause while my brain processes the emotions i am feeling. Ok...i may not be a supermodel, but i am a model. just kidding. but my self esteem was bruised. i was SO astonished. So I gave them both dirty looks. which is when i realize the beautiful girl was pregnant. PHEW. offering a girl a seat because she's preggo is TOTALLY acceptable, and even admirable. offering a girl a seat because she's prettier than me is not ok. I guess that's not really a funny story in all actuality. it was a funny story for the 5 minutes i felt like shit about myself. maybe i should have just left it at that.

also this:Thanks to Kelheen for sending that to me.

OK, everyone. time to get on with your day.

c'est la V

THANK GOODNESS someone read my blog and listened to my concern about how absolutely pointless the V train is... and as of yesterday, it will no longer be wasting my time.

my next problem with the MTA... when you make the change the M train (which now heads into midtown just in time for me to start my new job in the empire state building... which of course i think is great) to the orange line, when it's in brooklyn, on the J line, it looks absolutely terrible next to the brown. really, really bad. ugh... you were THIS close to having it right, MTA.

also, you neglected to answer a lot of other questions i had about the subway system. but i'll be patient.

Now on to the pedestrians of NYC. i can't even begin to tell you how much i hate you. but let me just offer at least this much advice. if you are a slow walker, that's fine. i understand. i'm from the midwest too, and at one point was a tourist. However. Don't walk in big groups that take up the entire sidewalk, your huge suitcase should stay directly behind you instead of taking up the entire sidewalk, and you should try to walk in a straight line instead of weaving back and forth taking up the entire sidewalk. I don't know if you realize this, but these cardinal sins of side-walking make it so i can NEVER get around you. its rude. I know you think New Yorkers are rude for sometimes being vocal about your interference, but we have jobs to go to. I mean.. i'm still too much of a polite young lady from the midwest to be vocal about this-- but just know, i am hating you in my brain.

'lady.' GOD i'm funny.

OH i almost forgot. best part of the new subway changes is at 14th and 6th....

How amazing is that? NYmag reports that they're changing it. I strongly urge you, MTA to not make such a mistake. this sign will brighten my day 100% of the time.

at least its memory will be preserved here. in my blog. forever.

Mon Frere, Derriere

Hold on to your butts: this blog will contain graphic information. graphic, personal information. i should probably keep it to myself, but of course i won't. I feel a certain sense of social obligation as a writer to share it because its so funny, and sense of social obligation as a lady to not. I possess only enough knowledge of social 'norms' and 'guidelines' to recognize when i'm stepping outside the boundaries, and not enough to follow them. lady... who are we kidding.

I had my first Brazilian bikini wax.

don't worry--- that's not even the "too inappropriate to share" part.

I work at a spa, so i KNOW the girl. that's awkward. small talk without pants on-- or panties for that matter (who hasn't had a conversation with me pant-less)

Staring at my Vag, she asked "Are you one of those 'i look like i'm really young but i'm really married with kids' people?" are you talking about me or my vag? we are both 25 and single.

now here's the cherry on top.

"put your knees together and pull them to your chest." wait for it wait for it wait for it... " huh. you've got a lot of intricate stuff going on back here."





what?


wh-WHAT? what does that even mean?

in·tri·cate -adjective
1. having many parts or facets; entangled or involved: an intricate maze

2. complex; hard to understand, work, or make: an intricate machine.

she said it in such a neutral way i didn't know if it was a positive thing or negative. just very 'matter of fact' ly. your asshole hair is intricate.

was it exceptionally long? was there a lot of it? was the density of the hair different than other hair on my body? did it have natural highlights? was it braided in cornrows?

I must admit i don't really look at my own ass hair all that often, nor do i look at other people's. i feel the need to make some phone calls to some ex-lovers. "hey! its been a while, how are you? ok, ok, good, whatever. was the hair on my asshole ever--- distinguishable in anyway?"

Roger made the keen observation that i could have just waxed off the Picasso of Pubic hair. that it could be the biggest mistake of my life. my 'sliding doors' moment. Ellis is wondering if it was the source of all my powers. what if my blog writing suffers from this? Jared wonders if it was acting as a form of birth control-- sort of playing 'goalie.' (as you can imagine, this conversation lasted for hours). I guess we'll find out all of these things in due time.

Because i do embarrassing things all the time, i very rarely feel embarrassed. i've developed a tolerance. but i have to admit. this is going to go down in the books as being one of the more uncomfortable moments in my life.

i just googled 'butt jokes' to look for a good way to end this blog. couldn't find anything funny-- so that is your homework assignment. please leave a comment and amuse me with your best butt jokes.

look at meeeeee!

If this doesn't get me nominated for an Oscar, I don't know what will....

Say it With a Hot Girl! Starring Casey Nicole Wright!

check out other sketches by Sans Pants Productions here. they is funny.

Moons over My Hammy

bienvenido a my hammy.

I'm not going to even pretend for 1 single minute that i will be able to write a blog entry that has any 'flow' or 'logical transitions' or 'complete sentences.' not that that's ever been my specialty. but today is especially bad.

AMENDMENTS

In my last post, i mentioned that i broke my ipod. well turns out i'm a GENIUS and i fixed it all by myself. (then i dropped it that night and cracked the screen-- but it works. so you should save your money for other gifts for me.) FYI i also broke my Ipod about 2 weeks ago, and matt fixed it. maybe i should just start carrying around a diskman again. i never broke that mofo.

In a post i made a in January when i was talking about relating to every song i heard on the radio i made the following statement "'He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich.' Ok. this one i don't really understand let alone relate to, but i sure do like it." WELL. guess who not only knows what a vegemite sandwich is, but actually ate one?!?!? after having a "he" smile and give it to me? that's right I DID. thanks, Australians!

NEW DISCOVERIES
these things i've known deep down for a while, but am ready to go fully accept as part of ME and move on. here's my public announcement:

I can't eat pretzels or almonds with out choking on them. i need to be drinking water as i eat them. or, you know, not eat them, but that seems silly. Yes, i did just announce on a public blog that i choke on nuts. don't worry about it.

I've also come to terms with the fact that i simply need to be everyone's favorite all the time. I don't know where this complex started. Probably early in life when i was undoubtedly the favorite child or maybe its because i've always been the best at everything i do, so i deserve it. Its not like i'm selfish or stuck up. i just know that i am the prettiest and funniest and smartest and coolest and should be treated as such. no big deal.

i really hate painting my toe nails, yet i hate them being naked, and i hate paying for a pedicure. as you can see, this leaves me in quite a predicament. PEDIcament. i'm gonna have to suck it up and paint them because its driving me crazy. but i'm really dreading it. Yes. this is my subtle way of inviting you over to my apt to paint my toe nails.

ELLIS my most beloved brit is coming to visit me today!!!. next weekend i'm going to the beach with the boys- unfortunately not with the beach boys, but i'll make it work. the weekend after i get to go home for Caitlin's wedding and to play with the TWO babies my mom has in foster care right now. if i can just make it through the next 9 days of working all the GD time, its gonna be gravy. Mosquitoes say what? (katie don't worry... its totally catching on).

'venezuelan' does not look like a word. don't even try to argue that it does.

I'm gonna make myself stop writing now. Its either that, or i have to start judging all of you for continuing to read the shit i put on this blog. I'd rather maintain at least a little respect for you. (see how nice i am! this is why i should be your favorite.)

"I'm working so i won't have to try so hard"

i've been bad at blogging lately. i'm sorry to let you down. turns out working 2 jobs sucks exponentially, logarithmically and aerodynamically more that working one-- according to the dewey decimal system.

also, nothing exciting has happened on the train. i haven't seen my roommates in what seems like weeks. i don't really go out anymore, because i've been working 10 hour days on saturdays, which ruins my friday night and my saturday. oh, and cus i'm old and lame and poor. BUT. i no longer work saturdays, and feel it is time to start making my own luck.

ideas.

1.) Get some sort of 'baby bump' to wear to bars. binge drink, maybe pick up smoking. see what people say. (I will also wear this baby bump on the train so people have to give me their seat.)
2.) Start sitting right next to people on trains/buses that are completely empty.
3.) Start offering strangers gum/mints/fruit snacks as i'm eating them. i think its the polite thing to do.
4.) greet perfect strangers as if i know them. "Hey man! how have you been? haven't seen you in years!" See how many people play along. i've actually done this on accident before. He replied "i don't think i know you" which was when i realized- no. no he did not. but i just said "Uh... i think you do." and walked away. let him think he's the crazy one.

i think my parents would be proud of me for setting goals with my life.

thats really all i gots. pathetic, i know.

OH also i broke my ipod. so someone should buy me a new one. ready, set, GO!

PS when you do a google image search for "the strokes 'i'm working so i don't have to try so hard'" this is what comes up:

a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck

One thing I'm grateful for in regards to my childhood:
My family never wore matching outfits on vacations or in portraits. My mom would dress Emily and I in coordinating outfits when we were little-- and we accidentally did so ourselves in high school and would argue over who had to change. and since high school, we still accidentally match, but have learned to love it. We've been known to show up to outings coming from different cities wearing the same outfit. as pictured here in this... picture:

on this particular occasion, we were going to a Memorial Day service in our home town. Emily Drove in from Ann Arbor (Muck Fichigan), me from East Lansing (Sparty On!) when she walked in-- late-- we looked at each other and tried so hard not to laugh we started crying. and had to pass it off as if we were just really moved by the service as everyone bowed their heads in prayer. Also, as indicated by the picture above, we had twins in foster care at the time. who were, of course, dressed as twins should be; like twins. We made one handsome couple of couples that sunny afternoon.

The only time we dressed alike as a family of 6 (plus a couple of unsuspecting significant others who would inevitably, eventually break up with my siblings) was when my dad decided we should all wear Hawaiian shirts to a family reunion/50th anniversary party where my aunt and uncle were renewing their vows. Being 16 and super cool and hip and popular at the time, i thought it was stupid, and was silently pissed at my dad. looking back-- i think its HILARIOUS. quick important detail; we all wore the same Hawaiian shirt! that's so amazing! I wish i had a picture of it to post. It was the happiest i've ever seen my dad. I kept a close eye on him during my sister's wedding 6 years later to see if anything rivaled this moment-- walking her down the aisle, daddy daughter dance, etc etc-- nothing. note to self. solidify spot as 'favorite child' by letting dad wear a Hawaiian shirt to my black tie wedding.

my mom has a picture of the Hawaiianness. i'll make her scan it. Emily once referred to the picture as the 'time Dad got to drive the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile,' as that is the only thing that could elicit such an expression of pure joy that had overwhelmed my father's face. She was right. the rest of us may have been in the lobby of a hotel in Indiana, PA. But at that moment in time, he was driving the weinermobile.

oh wait.. i was supposed to be writing about why i'm glad we don't dress alike. what i was actually referring to was those custom made shirts that say something like "The Wright Stuff: Summer Vaca 1996" and have a picture of Mickey Mouse superimposed to your latest family portrait and are brightly colored so no one gets lost at the theme park. I'm glad i never had to wear one of those. I'm also glad i've never had to dress the same as my mother-- like, the exact outfit from head to toe. no offense, she's a wonderful woman. I saw a 14 year old girl and her mother walking down the street the other day in matching little get-ups, and i wanted to puke, then call my mother and thank her for her better judgment in that regard.

Outfits that match from head to toe in general are a bad idea-- even if it just matches itself. I saw a women with bright yellow jeans, a yellow t-shirt under a yellow jean vest, white shoes with yellow stripes and her fingernails were painted yellow, too. that is simply too much yellow. mix it up. coordinate an outfit... don't match it to everything on your body. I also saw a woman dressed in all pink the very same day. Solid pink cottonish cropped pants and a cotton ruffled pink shirt that matched exactly-it may have actually been a pajama set. her daughter was also wearing pink- but not quite matching. same shade different cut and style-- so i'll let it slide. also, she was pregnant, so she looked like a puffalump.

it was actually the shade of pink of that bunny's ears. no self respecting adult should wear that color on more than 10% of their body. it might have even been that material....

One thing i regret in regards to my childhood:
I wish i was raised in a culture where "Sunday Best" included some type of elaborate hat.

no more rhyming... i mean it. does anyone want a peanut?

To celebrate my new job in marketing... Check out these cool links!

1) the spa i work at.
2) the band that just moved into my building
3) my sister's video blog
4) my roommates show that just got extended... again.

i'm so good at my job.


Other thoughts/ discoveries this week.

I wish you could capitalize numbers.

I saw a lady on the bus curling her eyelashes with a spoon. for real. I stared at her a lot.

I had a cab driver who didn't speak english to the point that he had me write down the address of where i was going. Then when we got close, he said "tell me where you want," and i said "stop" 3 times before he understood me. He also listened to "learn to speak english" tapes (by tapes i mean CDs) the entire time. i thought that was a pretty good reason to not have to tip him. it was seriously the most annoying thing in the world. but instead i tipped him extra. i think he deserved it. he was trying really hard.

I've contemplated a way to get/reason why i deserve/reason why its convenient to get Popeye's chicken every day this week. but i have not eaten it once. i'm so proud of myself. i did, however, resort to eating pop-tarts for breakfast again. but i do deserve that, so its ok.

I dropped of 44lbs of laundry on monday, then watched TV for about 6.5 hours. it was a amazing. in hindsight, i should have done my taxes. but whatchagonna do.

that's all she wrote...

question of the day...

do anxiety attacks count as cardiovascular exercise?

20 mins 3X/week? please. on that shit like white on rice. I'm gonna live forever. or. die of from an anxiety disorder related incident before i'm 30. either way i"m gonna save a lot of money on gym memberships.

but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for

So, we all know how much i hate dating in this city. or lack there of. My friend Katie has recently created a template for an online dating profile on her blog. It was hilarious, so i've decided to straight up steal her idea.

Date Me, Too.

A Realistic Portrayal of Casey Nicole Wright
based on motivation by Katie of the Sea

From blog

Username:

GetUpInTheseGuts84

I am controlling, conceited, and pessimistic

(three words to describe myself)

My Self Summary

Can't seem to trick boys into dating me in real life, so its time to move onward and upward. Online dating!

I would say I have no idea what i want in life and am therefore open to new experiences, and 100% determined and set in my ways. I believe in hopes and dreams. I want to be an actress if/when i grow up. I am currently partially unemployed, so I'm looking for someone with enough money to support me and my drinking habits-- which includes the occasional m-f 40's/bottle of wine from the bodega/home made martini's with my roommates and the fri-sun bar crawl until i pass out or throw up with my friends. It would be really nice if i didn't have to get another soul sucking part time job so i can focus all of my energy on sleeping in and buying new outfits.

I'm very loyal. to my friends. i spend a lot of my free time with them, and will expect you to join right in so you can see me. warning: don't expect that just because i'll eat half chewed food out of my friend's mouth to prove that i'm really his best friend, that i'll do anything to prove my love for you. you're the man. its your job to prove that to me. call me old fashioned....

I come from a very loving and supportive family; we’re very close. When my brother and sisters planned a hiking trip in Colorado and didn’t invite me, I didn’t even tell them how much it bothered me. I’m just a really understanding, passive aggressive person. I’m looking for someone who knows how to smile through passive aggressive comments, or you will not survive holidays with my family.

Every girl has daddy issues, you should know i would quantify mine as 'extra medium.'

I love children, but probably won't have any of my own. seems like a lot of work/time/money, and my husband is going to have his hands full putting up with my needs... i'd feel bad putting him in charge of the children as well. Plus I've promised rental space of my uterus to about 1 million gays, and there's only so much 'fertile' time left. I'm not 13 anymore!!!

Speaking of 13, i have the figure of a prepubescent boy. I make up for it with my radiantly blue eyes (a homeless man once proposed to me in the middle of the street because he thought they were so beautiful), blond hair that is always styled and trendy (my picture is all over the salon I used to work at... and in a few Detroit based magazines) and modesty.

...remember when i said i love children... i think i mean their sense of humor, as it is strikingly similar to my own. If you don't think a knock knock joke, a joke i find on a Popsicle stick or laffy taffy wrapper, or a poop joke is funny, its ok. i'll be happy to explain it to you until you do, or until i'm laughing so hard i can't breathe.

lets see... what else. when i wear sunglasses, i think i can say whatever i want because people can't see me, which means they probably can't hear me either. So if i say something rude and you look over at me and see me in my shades, don't worry, i didn't mean for you to hear it and would NEVER say it to your face if i wasn't wearing sunglasses.

Where you fit in: I'm not really looking for someone to keep me company when i'm lonely, cus i live with 3 boys and treasure whatever alone time i can get, or hold me when i'm crying because i've become accustomed to doing that by myself alone in the dark or on the subway with complete strangers, or even make me laugh, cus i laugh at my own jokes ALL the time. I'm really just looking for someone to take me nice dinners and buy me pretty things. I would like nothing more than to become a trophy wife one day. Although i'm not very good at being socially acceptable, so you probably shouldn't try to 'show me off' in front of your friends. I drop something, spill something, run into something or fall down at least 3 times a day.

What I'm Doing with My Life

Working a few meaningless part time jobs to pay the bills, blogging, pretending to be a socialite but without the class or elegance or money, and apologizing to my father for all of the dollars he spent on my college education.

I'm Really Good At

Coming up with witty insults in record time. you can say just about anything... and i'll have something negative to say about it split seconds later.

The First Thing People Usually Notice about Me

my bangs. but i'm not a hipster, i swear. i stopped shopping at american apparel YEARS ago when it started becoming too trendy. now most of the clothes i buy are vintage.

Favorite Books, Music, Movies and Food

BOOKS - Everyone Poops.

MUSIC - any song that has "do do do's" or "la la la's" instead of real words in the chorus

MOVIES - The Godfather (which i've actually never seen, but it's a classic)

FOOD - If it's free, it's me.

Six Things I Could Never Do Without

1. poop jokes 2. orange soda 3. Heating pads (serious addiction) 4. Ancient Egypt 5. Spell Check 6. hot dogs

I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking about

The fact that I’m not a famous movie star and in a serious relationship with a rock star/doctor/lawyer/banker yet. That shit just boggles my mind!!! I’m SUCH a catch! People are always so surprised when they meet me to learn that I’m single AND am not signed with a single talent agency in NYC. I try to explain to them that i don't understand it either, but i feel uncomfortable talking about myself. i'm really down to earth. my fans appreciate that about me... just a small town midwest girl trying to make it in the big city.

On a Typical Friday Night I Am

Predrinking for Saturday night.

The Most Private Thing I'm Willing to Admit Here

~I once cried at a Beyonce concert because the song "Irreplaceable" was so moving.
~ i'm way more prone to buying new underwear than carrying my laundry bag 2 blocks to the Laundromat where i drop of my clothes for someone else to clean and fold, cus i know i'm just gonna have to walk there tomorrow and pick them up and carry them all the way home.

~i have trouble pronouncing the words "biological" and "aesthetically" and "dresser" or "dress" or any word beginning with a "dr"

You Should Message Me If
you are James Franco, Pete Doherty or Richie Sambora

You have day dreams about Rat C.E.O's and meetings they hold in the subway.

you are looking for a funny witty girl to treat like a princess. only don't ever call me a princess because it just has such a negative connotation these days.