Moons over My Hammy

bienvenido a my hammy.

I'm not going to even pretend for 1 single minute that i will be able to write a blog entry that has any 'flow' or 'logical transitions' or 'complete sentences.' not that that's ever been my specialty. but today is especially bad.

AMENDMENTS

In my last post, i mentioned that i broke my ipod. well turns out i'm a GENIUS and i fixed it all by myself. (then i dropped it that night and cracked the screen-- but it works. so you should save your money for other gifts for me.) FYI i also broke my Ipod about 2 weeks ago, and matt fixed it. maybe i should just start carrying around a diskman again. i never broke that mofo.

In a post i made a in January when i was talking about relating to every song i heard on the radio i made the following statement "'He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich.' Ok. this one i don't really understand let alone relate to, but i sure do like it." WELL. guess who not only knows what a vegemite sandwich is, but actually ate one?!?!? after having a "he" smile and give it to me? that's right I DID. thanks, Australians!

NEW DISCOVERIES
these things i've known deep down for a while, but am ready to go fully accept as part of ME and move on. here's my public announcement:

I can't eat pretzels or almonds with out choking on them. i need to be drinking water as i eat them. or, you know, not eat them, but that seems silly. Yes, i did just announce on a public blog that i choke on nuts. don't worry about it.

I've also come to terms with the fact that i simply need to be everyone's favorite all the time. I don't know where this complex started. Probably early in life when i was undoubtedly the favorite child or maybe its because i've always been the best at everything i do, so i deserve it. Its not like i'm selfish or stuck up. i just know that i am the prettiest and funniest and smartest and coolest and should be treated as such. no big deal.

i really hate painting my toe nails, yet i hate them being naked, and i hate paying for a pedicure. as you can see, this leaves me in quite a predicament. PEDIcament. i'm gonna have to suck it up and paint them because its driving me crazy. but i'm really dreading it. Yes. this is my subtle way of inviting you over to my apt to paint my toe nails.

ELLIS my most beloved brit is coming to visit me today!!!. next weekend i'm going to the beach with the boys- unfortunately not with the beach boys, but i'll make it work. the weekend after i get to go home for Caitlin's wedding and to play with the TWO babies my mom has in foster care right now. if i can just make it through the next 9 days of working all the GD time, its gonna be gravy. Mosquitoes say what? (katie don't worry... its totally catching on).

'venezuelan' does not look like a word. don't even try to argue that it does.

I'm gonna make myself stop writing now. Its either that, or i have to start judging all of you for continuing to read the shit i put on this blog. I'd rather maintain at least a little respect for you. (see how nice i am! this is why i should be your favorite.)

"I'm working so i won't have to try so hard"

i've been bad at blogging lately. i'm sorry to let you down. turns out working 2 jobs sucks exponentially, logarithmically and aerodynamically more that working one-- according to the dewey decimal system.

also, nothing exciting has happened on the train. i haven't seen my roommates in what seems like weeks. i don't really go out anymore, because i've been working 10 hour days on saturdays, which ruins my friday night and my saturday. oh, and cus i'm old and lame and poor. BUT. i no longer work saturdays, and feel it is time to start making my own luck.

ideas.

1.) Get some sort of 'baby bump' to wear to bars. binge drink, maybe pick up smoking. see what people say. (I will also wear this baby bump on the train so people have to give me their seat.)
2.) Start sitting right next to people on trains/buses that are completely empty.
3.) Start offering strangers gum/mints/fruit snacks as i'm eating them. i think its the polite thing to do.
4.) greet perfect strangers as if i know them. "Hey man! how have you been? haven't seen you in years!" See how many people play along. i've actually done this on accident before. He replied "i don't think i know you" which was when i realized- no. no he did not. but i just said "Uh... i think you do." and walked away. let him think he's the crazy one.

i think my parents would be proud of me for setting goals with my life.

thats really all i gots. pathetic, i know.

OH also i broke my ipod. so someone should buy me a new one. ready, set, GO!

PS when you do a google image search for "the strokes 'i'm working so i don't have to try so hard'" this is what comes up:

a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck

One thing I'm grateful for in regards to my childhood:
My family never wore matching outfits on vacations or in portraits. My mom would dress Emily and I in coordinating outfits when we were little-- and we accidentally did so ourselves in high school and would argue over who had to change. and since high school, we still accidentally match, but have learned to love it. We've been known to show up to outings coming from different cities wearing the same outfit. as pictured here in this... picture:

on this particular occasion, we were going to a Memorial Day service in our home town. Emily Drove in from Ann Arbor (Muck Fichigan), me from East Lansing (Sparty On!) when she walked in-- late-- we looked at each other and tried so hard not to laugh we started crying. and had to pass it off as if we were just really moved by the service as everyone bowed their heads in prayer. Also, as indicated by the picture above, we had twins in foster care at the time. who were, of course, dressed as twins should be; like twins. We made one handsome couple of couples that sunny afternoon.

The only time we dressed alike as a family of 6 (plus a couple of unsuspecting significant others who would inevitably, eventually break up with my siblings) was when my dad decided we should all wear Hawaiian shirts to a family reunion/50th anniversary party where my aunt and uncle were renewing their vows. Being 16 and super cool and hip and popular at the time, i thought it was stupid, and was silently pissed at my dad. looking back-- i think its HILARIOUS. quick important detail; we all wore the same Hawaiian shirt! that's so amazing! I wish i had a picture of it to post. It was the happiest i've ever seen my dad. I kept a close eye on him during my sister's wedding 6 years later to see if anything rivaled this moment-- walking her down the aisle, daddy daughter dance, etc etc-- nothing. note to self. solidify spot as 'favorite child' by letting dad wear a Hawaiian shirt to my black tie wedding.

my mom has a picture of the Hawaiianness. i'll make her scan it. Emily once referred to the picture as the 'time Dad got to drive the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile,' as that is the only thing that could elicit such an expression of pure joy that had overwhelmed my father's face. She was right. the rest of us may have been in the lobby of a hotel in Indiana, PA. But at that moment in time, he was driving the weinermobile.

oh wait.. i was supposed to be writing about why i'm glad we don't dress alike. what i was actually referring to was those custom made shirts that say something like "The Wright Stuff: Summer Vaca 1996" and have a picture of Mickey Mouse superimposed to your latest family portrait and are brightly colored so no one gets lost at the theme park. I'm glad i never had to wear one of those. I'm also glad i've never had to dress the same as my mother-- like, the exact outfit from head to toe. no offense, she's a wonderful woman. I saw a 14 year old girl and her mother walking down the street the other day in matching little get-ups, and i wanted to puke, then call my mother and thank her for her better judgment in that regard.

Outfits that match from head to toe in general are a bad idea-- even if it just matches itself. I saw a women with bright yellow jeans, a yellow t-shirt under a yellow jean vest, white shoes with yellow stripes and her fingernails were painted yellow, too. that is simply too much yellow. mix it up. coordinate an outfit... don't match it to everything on your body. I also saw a woman dressed in all pink the very same day. Solid pink cottonish cropped pants and a cotton ruffled pink shirt that matched exactly-it may have actually been a pajama set. her daughter was also wearing pink- but not quite matching. same shade different cut and style-- so i'll let it slide. also, she was pregnant, so she looked like a puffalump.

it was actually the shade of pink of that bunny's ears. no self respecting adult should wear that color on more than 10% of their body. it might have even been that material....

One thing i regret in regards to my childhood:
I wish i was raised in a culture where "Sunday Best" included some type of elaborate hat.

no more rhyming... i mean it. does anyone want a peanut?

To celebrate my new job in marketing... Check out these cool links!

1) the spa i work at.
2) the band that just moved into my building
3) my sister's video blog
4) my roommates show that just got extended... again.

i'm so good at my job.


Other thoughts/ discoveries this week.

I wish you could capitalize numbers.

I saw a lady on the bus curling her eyelashes with a spoon. for real. I stared at her a lot.

I had a cab driver who didn't speak english to the point that he had me write down the address of where i was going. Then when we got close, he said "tell me where you want," and i said "stop" 3 times before he understood me. He also listened to "learn to speak english" tapes (by tapes i mean CDs) the entire time. i thought that was a pretty good reason to not have to tip him. it was seriously the most annoying thing in the world. but instead i tipped him extra. i think he deserved it. he was trying really hard.

I've contemplated a way to get/reason why i deserve/reason why its convenient to get Popeye's chicken every day this week. but i have not eaten it once. i'm so proud of myself. i did, however, resort to eating pop-tarts for breakfast again. but i do deserve that, so its ok.

I dropped of 44lbs of laundry on monday, then watched TV for about 6.5 hours. it was a amazing. in hindsight, i should have done my taxes. but whatchagonna do.

that's all she wrote...

question of the day...

do anxiety attacks count as cardiovascular exercise?

20 mins 3X/week? please. on that shit like white on rice. I'm gonna live forever. or. die of from an anxiety disorder related incident before i'm 30. either way i"m gonna save a lot of money on gym memberships.

but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for

So, we all know how much i hate dating in this city. or lack there of. My friend Katie has recently created a template for an online dating profile on her blog. It was hilarious, so i've decided to straight up steal her idea.

Date Me, Too.

A Realistic Portrayal of Casey Nicole Wright
based on motivation by Katie of the Sea

From blog

Username:

GetUpInTheseGuts84

I am controlling, conceited, and pessimistic

(three words to describe myself)

My Self Summary

Can't seem to trick boys into dating me in real life, so its time to move onward and upward. Online dating!

I would say I have no idea what i want in life and am therefore open to new experiences, and 100% determined and set in my ways. I believe in hopes and dreams. I want to be an actress if/when i grow up. I am currently partially unemployed, so I'm looking for someone with enough money to support me and my drinking habits-- which includes the occasional m-f 40's/bottle of wine from the bodega/home made martini's with my roommates and the fri-sun bar crawl until i pass out or throw up with my friends. It would be really nice if i didn't have to get another soul sucking part time job so i can focus all of my energy on sleeping in and buying new outfits.

I'm very loyal. to my friends. i spend a lot of my free time with them, and will expect you to join right in so you can see me. warning: don't expect that just because i'll eat half chewed food out of my friend's mouth to prove that i'm really his best friend, that i'll do anything to prove my love for you. you're the man. its your job to prove that to me. call me old fashioned....

I come from a very loving and supportive family; we’re very close. When my brother and sisters planned a hiking trip in Colorado and didn’t invite me, I didn’t even tell them how much it bothered me. I’m just a really understanding, passive aggressive person. I’m looking for someone who knows how to smile through passive aggressive comments, or you will not survive holidays with my family.

Every girl has daddy issues, you should know i would quantify mine as 'extra medium.'

I love children, but probably won't have any of my own. seems like a lot of work/time/money, and my husband is going to have his hands full putting up with my needs... i'd feel bad putting him in charge of the children as well. Plus I've promised rental space of my uterus to about 1 million gays, and there's only so much 'fertile' time left. I'm not 13 anymore!!!

Speaking of 13, i have the figure of a prepubescent boy. I make up for it with my radiantly blue eyes (a homeless man once proposed to me in the middle of the street because he thought they were so beautiful), blond hair that is always styled and trendy (my picture is all over the salon I used to work at... and in a few Detroit based magazines) and modesty.

...remember when i said i love children... i think i mean their sense of humor, as it is strikingly similar to my own. If you don't think a knock knock joke, a joke i find on a Popsicle stick or laffy taffy wrapper, or a poop joke is funny, its ok. i'll be happy to explain it to you until you do, or until i'm laughing so hard i can't breathe.

lets see... what else. when i wear sunglasses, i think i can say whatever i want because people can't see me, which means they probably can't hear me either. So if i say something rude and you look over at me and see me in my shades, don't worry, i didn't mean for you to hear it and would NEVER say it to your face if i wasn't wearing sunglasses.

Where you fit in: I'm not really looking for someone to keep me company when i'm lonely, cus i live with 3 boys and treasure whatever alone time i can get, or hold me when i'm crying because i've become accustomed to doing that by myself alone in the dark or on the subway with complete strangers, or even make me laugh, cus i laugh at my own jokes ALL the time. I'm really just looking for someone to take me nice dinners and buy me pretty things. I would like nothing more than to become a trophy wife one day. Although i'm not very good at being socially acceptable, so you probably shouldn't try to 'show me off' in front of your friends. I drop something, spill something, run into something or fall down at least 3 times a day.

What I'm Doing with My Life

Working a few meaningless part time jobs to pay the bills, blogging, pretending to be a socialite but without the class or elegance or money, and apologizing to my father for all of the dollars he spent on my college education.

I'm Really Good At

Coming up with witty insults in record time. you can say just about anything... and i'll have something negative to say about it split seconds later.

The First Thing People Usually Notice about Me

my bangs. but i'm not a hipster, i swear. i stopped shopping at american apparel YEARS ago when it started becoming too trendy. now most of the clothes i buy are vintage.

Favorite Books, Music, Movies and Food

BOOKS - Everyone Poops.

MUSIC - any song that has "do do do's" or "la la la's" instead of real words in the chorus

MOVIES - The Godfather (which i've actually never seen, but it's a classic)

FOOD - If it's free, it's me.

Six Things I Could Never Do Without

1. poop jokes 2. orange soda 3. Heating pads (serious addiction) 4. Ancient Egypt 5. Spell Check 6. hot dogs

I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking about

The fact that I’m not a famous movie star and in a serious relationship with a rock star/doctor/lawyer/banker yet. That shit just boggles my mind!!! I’m SUCH a catch! People are always so surprised when they meet me to learn that I’m single AND am not signed with a single talent agency in NYC. I try to explain to them that i don't understand it either, but i feel uncomfortable talking about myself. i'm really down to earth. my fans appreciate that about me... just a small town midwest girl trying to make it in the big city.

On a Typical Friday Night I Am

Predrinking for Saturday night.

The Most Private Thing I'm Willing to Admit Here

~I once cried at a Beyonce concert because the song "Irreplaceable" was so moving.
~ i'm way more prone to buying new underwear than carrying my laundry bag 2 blocks to the Laundromat where i drop of my clothes for someone else to clean and fold, cus i know i'm just gonna have to walk there tomorrow and pick them up and carry them all the way home.

~i have trouble pronouncing the words "biological" and "aesthetically" and "dresser" or "dress" or any word beginning with a "dr"

You Should Message Me If
you are James Franco, Pete Doherty or Richie Sambora

You have day dreams about Rat C.E.O's and meetings they hold in the subway.

you are looking for a funny witty girl to treat like a princess. only don't ever call me a princess because it just has such a negative connotation these days.

not even on cold meds anymore...

Sometimes when i wear these slippers i'm afraid they're gonna take over my entire body and i will turn into a monster.

it hasn't happened yet, so thats good. although i think i'd be more of a friendly monster than a scary monster. so i guess i would be ok with it.

So... do you come here often?

things you shouldn't do if you're trying to pick up a girl at a bar. My second installation.

1.) Open with the line "Do you like Cleavland Steamers."
maybe this is a funny thing to say after you've been talking to a girl for a while, and you've established the fact that you are being funny and you're not actually going to shit on her chest. as an opener.... never.

2.) Punch her in the face four times while you're dancing with her.
if you don't know how to do fancy spins without punching a girl in the face, don't do fancy spins. and if you punch her in the face once, do not do 3 more spins and continue to punch her in the face.

3.) Lets say you actually do get a girls attention, and you get her to approach you. such as in the following scenario. Last night i was wearing a shirt that on the front said "Franks Says Relax" and the back said "don't do it." A guy tapped me on the shoulder and opened his blazer to reveal a shirt that said "just do it." So I walked up to him and said "Are you my soulmate?" (sorry KTDM) He said "no. your shirt says 'don't do it.' mine says 'just do it.' i'm just saying, maybe you shouldn't be so uptight." and he said it as if he was serious. My advice is, maybe stick with something a little more positive and opens the door for more conversation.

I will say that my "be a condescending bitch to boys who use douchy pick up lines on you because it will at least be funny for you since this is clearly not gonna go anywhere" game kinda backfired last night.
As i was talking to my friends, some dude came up and said "You're not even gonna say hi to me?" i condescendingly said "oh. sorry for being so rude. my bad." He said "how have you been?" i condescendingly said "You mean since the last time i saw you? i'd say i'm doing alright, yourself" he said "do you not remember me?" but he's still saying it as if he's playing some sort of game or dropping some sort of line, so i continue to be condescending and say "oh of course i do. we're like BFFs, hang out all the time! good to see you!" he said "no seriously. i've met you like 6 times." What he didn't know was that i have a very good memory of at least faces if not names. i would have believed him if he said he had seen me at party or a club or whatever, but MET me 6 times seems unlikely. so i ask "Oh really? Whats my name?" he thinks for second and says "i can't think of it but i know it starts with a C" could be a lucky guess. but guessing 'c' generally isn't a good 'go to' for a girls name. I'm starting to think maybe i HAD met this kid "i say yes. its casey. and yours?" he answers "Brian. You're friends with T Wigg right?" shit. yes. i am friends with Tom Wigg, thats who i was there with that night. "i went to high school... and actually middle school with him." oops! i ask "So... I actually know you?" he says "Yes. I've hung out with you multiple times with drewmate and HWP Jones the third, you're on all tom's mass email lists.. i think i have an email from you on my phone right now." no way to recover from that. i smile say "Oh, right, Brian. of course i remember you! how have you been?" he says "you have no idea who i am do you?"

he was correct. i apologized to Tom for being a complete and utter condescending bitch to his friend. I apologized to him later explaining that I'm not usually a huge bitch, i just thought he was trying to use a douchy pick up line on me, and i don't deal with that very well. he said he understood.

casey+single=forever.

come on ride the train... and ride it.

another spectacular find on the train this week.

a man. dressed in a red tight v-neck shirt. bright orange pants, with tanning lotioned skin to match, with black shoulder length curly hair. like.... spiral curls. i checked if it was a wig multiple times. approximate age: 32.

he was siting on the same 'bench' as i was, with one person between us. he kept mumbling to himself, most of if too quiet to make out, even after i turned of my ipod to devote my full attention to him. But what i did hear him say was simply amazing.

"Go to Chicago. IF you have $8000 in your bank account" starts laughing as if $8000 is them most unreasonable thing he's ever heard. "the only way to get there though is from broadway to 23rd"

we were at 14th street and the train conductor announced transfers and connections. the man said "PATH TRAIN!?! AWESOME!!!" then got super serious and said "whoops! shouldn't have heard that."

"does anyone have some sunkist? i really need the caffeine"

"what happened to our story about the gardener?"

unfortunately, those are really the only things i could make out. but i'm sure whatever he was saying the rest of our 17ish minute relationship on the F train was simply amazing. i really wish i could have taken a picture of him, but i was afraid he would totally notice and kick the shit out of me.

Sometimes i play dress up.

Styleline Magazine did an article on FIGO salon in Birmingham, MI. My FIGO Family flew me home so I could model for them. I was extremely flattered and honored. Rino and Kristina always do such a great job with photoshoots, and this was no exception. Plus it was great to hang out with all my old coworkers and friends for a weekend. Here's some of the pics from the shoot. (Hair and Styling by Kristina Marra of FIGO salon, Make up by Justin Ruppel of FIGO salon Photography by John Roe)

here's a link to the article in case you'd like to read it. especially pages 56-60 as well as the table of contents on page 13. some one might be famous.